Thursday, February 24, 2011

i don't have any words to put here as the exact title


I'm not the type to get my heart broken 
I'm not the type to get upset and cry
Cause I never leave my heart open..


What I'm going to say is something u might label it is simply ridiculous, another crap that waste your time to read it. Seriously. By means If u are judgmental person maybe u should leave this page. I'm just unbearable. Shieda said that I see u are extremely happy tonight, u sing, cakap kelantan with your country man, u laughing quite a lot and being so loud too. Yeah. 

When I said It's not that I'm happy but I'm feeling so bad about myself, thinking of something tedious but need to be considered about it and overwhelming me. It's like the skin that cover the real feeling at that time. And she said, by that way you are a denial person. U denying urself when u're upset, mad, or frustrated. Am I? In this condition I might be very loud, loud than usual. I'm trying to hide something inside, pretending everything is on the line when the time comes I'm trying to put the thing as usual. As if. I wish. But it's not. 

Hurm, sometimes I can be overreact. Showing that I'm not comfy with the things on, which I hate the most. Always the times I can control myself while the other times, very seldom that I let the thing burst out to the top. So the consequences are, I'm feeling bad about myself, then I cover it by being loud then, am thinking of there are few things that shouldn't be the way I did when I'm in the loud process and again I'm feeling worst than before. This is the hardest time for me. I can be very crap when the time I'm becoming so louddd. By the time the processes taking place today I end it up by babbling here. Ekhhhh. What am I talking about? U got my address?

I used to say I'm the loud person that likely to hide the pain and the wound inside. Yea. What makes me, ME. 

Pape pun bawak banyak istighfar lah. Itu je penyelesaian dia. ALLAH.

How they appreciate my loudness. But it's the normal one, not the excessive though.


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