It has been two weeks that I'm currently doing my practical here in Kompleks Mahkamah Syariah Kota Bharu. It exhausting me seeing people who are not willing to work out their marriage, rather spitting the dirty laundry and let everyone knows that they fail each other.From khuluk to re-marriage, from A to Z.
There was one day, we witnessed a case of hadhanah. A father applied permission from the court to have his children overnight with him once in a while, cause the mother had the custody upon their agreement years back. The court granted the application and the father is allowed to do so though the mother looked so reluctant. Me and my friend had a sight of their back door negotiation, we saw how the father apologized to his ex wife saying he just wanted to spend times with kids as much as he could. Minutes after that,we saw the mother sobbed her heart out at the edge of the room, left us wonder.
But I guess my friend here got the answer, I found her note I thought I wanna share it here.
I might not know exactly what your fear is, but I know that you're afraid of losing your kids because that is what's left for you out of the shattered dreams or beautiful moments you had with your husband before. We hold onto our past sometimes, I do understand that. I do not know completely how or what you feel, but I know for sure that you won't lose your kids to anyone. They love you as much as you love them. I'm sorry I know I shouldn't be writing this to you but when I heard your story, I can see the younger me in your kids. Years ago, I was them too. I can relate how they might feel about most of the things. But your kids are so lucky. I grew up being my dad didn't even give a darn about me, it was all on my mother. He didn't want me, but your kids, their father loves them as much as you do and they deserve it.
Kids like me and like your children need as much love as we could ever feel to complete the broken pieces of our tormenting life story. Because believe me your kids never wanted to feel different, abandoned, resented by the fate of life. But you could help them not to feel the resentment, by giving them the love both of you.
One day when they grow up, they will thank you dearly.
I believe, your kids will grow up better than me, better than everyone of us, InsyaAllah.
I was there too,
Tak tahu juga apa yang saya akan dapat throughout this term of pratical, it seems like another not so beautiful side of life stories. We are all have our own struggle that others do not know anyway. But I do pray to God, may the tears today won't be the shadow of our smiles tomorrow. And whatever happens to all of them that I witness, may God makes it easier for them to get through it.
Because life gets tougher. We just need to be stronger.