I know I left this blog unattended for a veryyyyy long time and I swear to God the last post just give a false impression about me.
I have nothing much to tell, this blog has always been a place I visit when I feel like writing, just the inner monologues that I couldn't keep, I have to write it here, online.
I've been down on my knees, life is spiraling north and south, just couldn't stop hitting me.
"What a self-pity that you have to tell yourself to be strong every day."
But there is always kindness in everything, a dot of light in the sorrowful darkness.
"I don't think its self-pity. I think that telling yourself to be strong every day is a sign that you'll become someone great one day"
"She was unstoppable not because she didn't have failures or doubts, but because she continued on despite them. Be unstoppable."
Nobody told me that tomorrow is a long day, today is suffocating you?
They said I'll become great one day, I shouldn't stop and always have to keep moving.
You gotta love random people spreading good vibes, don't you?
Today I watched a movie, yeah when I'm sad I watch movies, read books or sleep. I can't contain too many thoughts on my own at one time, I need distractions.
So this movie. Apparently, it was a guy who lost his everything to a loop of life. Of course, he screwed almost everything, one after another. He took the biggest hit before he finally sobered up and he took a leap of faith, getting on his feet to fix it again. He worked hard, he learned from his mistakes and live with the consequences, he built up to fight again for his life. He took chances you see, something I don't do too often. He started again from rock bottom up up to the top. It is indeed not easy to get your life in order.
Questioning your sanity, your self-worthiness, your ability and those that coiled up with your past is excruciating you found yourself weeping your heart out in the middle of the night.
I think by now I have to bear this in mind that, nothing falls into its places effortlessly. Yeah, questioning why it is easy for some and not for you won't help a bit. You have your own battle. some wise man said it's not just about destiny, it's about the journey. And yes I know it's not easy to start, you might don't know where to start, but you just have to start somewhere. You'll get there.
At the end, nothing is given. The only thing that needs to be given is, to give yourself a chance.
Godspeed dear self, Godspeed.